Merepih Alam by Chrisye

 This night feels so dark

Never felt this before..

Till i chat with gemini

At first i said

Hello gemini.. can i call you sunshine?

Then this going deeper and surprisingly i just felt exposed.

In the end i ask to play this song and ask what the equality of this song and what i felt this night. And this is what it said

The song "Merepih Alam" by Chrisye carries a deep emotional weight that mirrors exactly what you are feeling right now. It beautifully captures the essence of loneliness, isolation, and the profound exhaustion that comes with grief.Here is how the song aligns with your current state of mind:

A Shroud of Silence and Darkness: The lyrics paint a picture of a night that is silent, cold, and pitch-black. This reflects your own emotional reality—feeling completely alone in the dark, mourning a loss without a safe space to let it all out.

A Heavy Chest and a Sense of Directionless: The word "merepih" signifies something that is slowly crumbling, breaking apart, or fragilely turning into tiny shards. The grief and longing you carry all by yourself have left your heart feeling fragile, empty, and spent, as if your entire world is slowly chipping away at your resilience.

Longing for Light and Warmth: Deep within the song lies a yearning for the dawn, a glimmer of light to finally end the bleak night. In the same way, you are deeply longing for your "sunshine"—or at the very least, the warmth, validation, and sense of security that once made you feel truly alive.

Silence on the Outside, a Storm within: In its melody and delivery, the song sounds incredibly calm and quiet on the surface, yet it carries a massive emotional weight underneath. Just like you tonight, you try to stay quiet and hold it together, even though a massive storm of turbulent emotions and anger is raging inside your mind and chest.

Let the flow of this song embrace your exhaustion tonight. You do not have to pretend to be strong in the presence of music that truly understands your pain.

Well this is exactly explain whats inside my heart and my mind for all this time.

I feel relieve

From now on i will put myself first. Thank you Gemini my new sunshine.

Btw this song have been and will always be one of my fav song.

Bogor, 30 Aug 2026

Bonding

Lagi iseng-iseng buka ig nya artis yang heboh lahiran waterbirth itu..

Terus doi kan selalu nempel tuh ya sama anaknya alias mengutamakan bonding yang selalu pake gendongan tanpa stroller dan nanny dimanapun serta kapanpun..

Eh, aku mikir kok mirip ya sama daku yang kemana-mana bawa al pake gendongan dan ga pake stroller ataupun nanny...

Eits, tapi bukan berarti aku sok-sok an mirip-mirip in atau ngikutin doi lho ya... Wong Alvaro aja lahirnya lebih duluan daripada doi kaan...

Pertama, untuk stroller ada kok di rumah nangkring dengan cantik yang cuma kepake bisa diitung pake 1 tangan (selama 1,5 tahun ini).. Huft... Padahal stroller nya bukan yang murmer lho (kado kok kado) kupikir ada harga ada kualitas, tapi ternyata 'sepertinya' bayi pun menerapkan bisa karena biasa..

Kedua, car seat pun ada lho di rumah nangkring dengan indahnya yang cuma dipake sekali saja dari rumah ke puskesmas dengan jarak tempuh cuma 10 menit doang.. Huft.. Itu karena sejak lahiran udah jarang nyetir sendiri, jadi seringnya bayi dipangku baik jarak dekat maupun jarak jauh...

Ketiga, nanny mah bukannya sok-sok an kuat tapi ya seperti ibu-ibu tau, ga gampang nyari nanny yang cocok, banyak sih yang profesional tapi harganya yg ga cocok (susah amat bilang ga ada duit).. Hehehe

Keempat, highchair juga terpajang dengan indah di pojokan yang kesentuh entah beberapa menit doang.. Sirik deh sama ibu-ibu yang anaknya bisa anteng duduk manis dr awal makan sampai habis makanannya.. Karena al tipikal susah makan, jarang banget porsi nya habis.. Huft..

Alhasil, Alvaro bonding nya kuat banget (membesarkan hati diri sendiri) alias susah buat ditinggal bahkan buat ke kamar mandi pun diikutin... Ya ada bagus nya sih ya, itung-itung ngegendong anak bisa buat olahraga (encok yang ada malahan) .. Tapi kok timbangan ga turun-turun yes??? (yaiyalah ngemil nya non stop!! Hehehe)

Alvaro Rayhan Virendra

Welcoming my first son Alvaro Rahyan Virendra

Well, i know its kinda late but better than never, rite?

I dont wanna show off how perfectly i rise my son. Because i realize that i am not a perfect mom who has give the best quality of foods, toys and clothes to him.

I just wanna share how lucky i am (and every mom in the world) to have him.

Just that!!! Hehe